OkayÉI just found out 6 months ago. My husband at lunch from his job going thru the drive thru got a post it note in his bag of food that said I will put a smile on your face. He held it up to the women standing there and they pointed to Janelle so she came on over and started talking to him he said Im married and I have 3 kids and started to drive away she hollered out the window I dont care think about it anyway. It dident take him long he went back the very next day and told he hell yeah Im not getting taken care of at home ..lets do this. She gets in his truck with him and they drive behind the tractor supply and she gives him a blow job. Well he started meeting her several times a week for blow jobs sex whatever. I went over there a few times with my baby girl 5 at the time we made daddy lunch and went to see him. If I had been more dilligent I would have caught them in the act. He was coming from behind the building but I was clueless I wasnt even thinking he was cheating. After I showed up a few times for lunch they changed their parking area..then eventually used a friends apartment in a town about 45 minutes away. This went on for years I had no idea Im thinking we are doing great he has a great job ..we are happy things are good. After a long term affair 5 years or more he said he decided he wanted to end it and be with me and his little girl. Im still clueless. One evening my daughter comes in from volleyball practice and says momÉ; Dad was talking to this woman and it was weird I felt like they knew each other better than he admitted she said but Im not saying anything is going on . I said its ok thank you for telling me it was the right thing to do. So I decide to go see who this woman is. When I saw her I thought to myself no way he wouldnt mess around with her.But I began investigating and finding out alot of stuff. After I confronted her I confronted my husband. He denied he lied it was awful. So I kept investigating uncovering more and more. He finally admitted it. But not without lies and a fight. He said it had been over for awhile and he just tucked it away and thought I wouldnt find out. So Im thinking she told me the truth and that he told me the truth. He had found out that I went to confront her and he went to talk to her and they conjured up a bunch of lies to tell me. About a month later Im trying to get past this and work on my marriage I found out he had went to see her and they construde a bunch of lies. I confronted him again . He denied and lied..but finally admitted it. So at about 3 months after finding all this out he decides its time that I heal and get past this. Well Im having a hard time healing and forgiving him and I said you cant just say its time and think thats going to make me forgive. At this point I think he has layed it all out and I know everything. At 5 months from when I found out he is talking to our friend about his great hunting trip in Laramie Wyoming. He said a date and it hit me I looked in his eyes and I said oh my god..you took her he looked terrified and ran out saying he had to see a friend.it was hours before he came home. But we had it out and he confessed once again. I ripped his Antelope mounts off our walls and threw them outside. He took his lover on this big great hunting trip in 2008. Im having a hard time forgiving and honestly Im not sure that I can forgive. I want to go hurt herÉI want to hurt himÉI dont know what to do Im broken and cry daily getting depressed. Totally in shock. And I love him still. But Im not happy with how easy it was for him to lie and manipulate keep secrets and make plans several days a week with her not to mention taking her on this trip out west. Not sure what Im going to do at this point . I dont even know if I can forgive him for my best interest ( im trying to give it to god ) but so far its not working. He is back to his old ways taking off for hours not texting or calling me back. He calls me names and disrespects me alot. Just doesnt care what I think. I need some good advice . I already know I shouldnt take this abuse and deception from him . Im just trying to make it work for the kids. And me too. But it isnt working .HELP. He is still trying to blame me for his affair .This is eating me alive its bigger than me and I dont know what to do. The first pic is him and I in 2006 when he said we werent happy the next pics are of This nasty home wrecking whore.