I found my love late in life. I was 47, he was 51. We had a whirlwind romance. He had never been married; had no children. I was in the process of divorcing my husband and had a then 6 year old daughter. My new partner cooked gourmet meals for me, played Bach on the organ and piano, accompanied me (I played violin then, now cello) in duets, wrote poetry to me, and took me on amazing adventures (hikes, visits to San Francisco for fine dining and symphony concerts, camping in Yosemite, spas in Calistoga, CA, wine tasting, walks on the beach, paddle boarding in Santa Cruz, CA, sushi in Sausalito, CA, and on and on. It was amazing. He was amazing! He said I was the love of his life. Meanwhile, a few months into our relationship, his work got very busy and and emailed me that: ÷I will be swamped this weekend . He later told me that he went to a Stanford reunion in San Francisco and now, years later (2014), I find out that he bought tickets on 4/2/09 for a trip to meet up with his longtime lover, Debora Hartzell (also know as Debbie Hartzell), for a 3 day tryst in Seattle, WA. They went to the Brahms violin concerto concert and I have found pictures of both of them on a boat off of Seattle. Debora (Debbie) Hartzell is a married woman. She lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband. She has no children. She met my partner in Florida (I think it was in 2004) in a hotel while he was on business and she was attending a reunion. Her horse had just died and she was telling my partner this at the time (this was before I knew him). They started an affair in 2004 and would meet twice a year and talk on the phone a lot. Her father lived in Santa Barbara, so she would come out to California to meet with my partner. Unknown to me, he continued his affair with her all the while we have been together. He talked on the phone with her every few months, then planned to join up with her after his business trip in October 2010,but alas!, she got a DUI while driving to his house after being in the Napa wine tasting region! He visited her in jail and sent her on her way, but nothing happened sexually. (He had written to me at the time that he was exhausted and would likely stay in for the weekend (sound familiar?). Since the DUI undermined their sexual encounter, he made reservations for December 4 and 5, 2010 at a fancy bed and breakfast place in San Luis Obispo, CA (near her father in Santa Barbara, conveniently). The reservation was for tow with a queen room for one night with wine tasting and appetizers and a full breakfast. He submitted this reservation on 11/30/10, right after Thanksgiving where he seemed to be so in love with me, creating the most elaborate, amazing meal and insisting that we send pictures to my mother who adores him and thinks he walks on water. He told me quite precipitously at the time that he had to go out of town to help his longtime friend from Michigan, a marine biologist, move his boat out of San Luis Obispo! I believed him. It was very plausible. As if that werent enough, he emails her in February 2011, after my 50th birthday with a Groupon for scallops and says: ÷I have pangs when I see this .pangs of a different kind. I later find out (in 2013) that he has a picture from the San Luis Obispo trip of a dinner plate with scallops on it. I later found this image on his computer. We went on a family camping trip to Lake Tahoe, CA with my daughter (then 9). It was quite lovely and we were there with friend. It was a chance for my partner to bond more with my daughter and they did. Despite this, he emailed Debora just prior to the trip saying that he couldnt wait to see her in Atlanta again. He planned to spend a few days with her prior to his business trip in Washington, D.C. He got up very early here in California, rented a car to get to the airport, and went straight to her. Her husband was at their Florida house while she was fornicating with my partner. This last one is especially sad to me because we had become closer and were about to take a trip of a lifetime to Toulouse, France. In fact, we went on that trip and had the most wonderful time. But that is what is so alarming .we had amazing experiences together and yet all the while he was lying to me, deceiving me, and living this secret life. All of this came to a head in May 2013 when I saw a text he had sent to another woman (in Palo Alto) whom clearly he had met with at a hot tub place and she had massaged him and given him a blow job and then he had sex with her. All of these women are older than me by about 5-12 years. This is a man, or should I say boy, with ÷mommy issues. All hell broke loose and the truth came out. There were four women he had sex with and about 80 others that he had emotional affairs with. Debbie and he had little pet names for each other : she called him ÷Nosimo and he called her ÷Female. She sent a postcard from Norway when she was there with her husband, she sent letters and cards saying how she missed my partner and couldnt wait to see him again, she sent articles from newspapers about restaurants in Atlanta she wanted to take him to, she said she would meet him anywhere I found a picture he took of her in the shower where she wiped the glass so you could see her genitals. But guess what Debora? You are only one of many that this ÷man whore slept with and juiced; you are not special.

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